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    22996 El Toro Road, Suite 107 | Lake Forest, CA 92630
    chris@drchriscounseling.com | (949) 235-5104

  • Christine Lillja

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    How to Boost Your Self-Esteem

    March 4, 2020

    What does it mean to have a healthy self-esteem? Some people think it means you are okay with how you look. Other people think you must accomplish something big in your life to have a good self-esteem. But the reality is, having a healthy self-esteem means you like and appreciate yourself faults and all. A […]

    Read More

    How to Boost Your Self-Esteem

    March 4, 2020

    What does it mean to have a healthy self-esteem?

    Some people think it means you are okay with how you look. Other people think you must accomplish something big in your life to have a good self-esteem.

    But the reality is, having a healthy self-esteem means you like and appreciate yourself faults and all. A good self-esteem can be the difference between being a happy, resilient individual, able to face life’s challenges head on, and someone who suffers from depression and anxiety and is often overwhelmed with life.

    If you have struggled in the past with self-esteem issues, there are some things you can do to give it a much-needed boost:

    Face the REAL Reality

    Are you someone that generalizes your lack of self-esteem? By that I mean, do you make generalities about yourself such as, “I’m an idiot,” “I’m not pretty enough or smart enough?” The truth is, we all act like idiots from time-to-time, and most human beings on this planet can find someone who is smarter and more attractive than they are.

    If you’re going to work on your self-esteem, you need to first recognize that you often lie to yourself with these generalities. It may be a very convincing lie from your point of view, but it’s still a lie.

    To become familiar with reality, make a list of 10 of your strengths and 10 weaknesses. If you have a hard time coming up with your strengths, think about what others have said about you: you’re a good listener, you are thoughtful, you cook a mean burger.

    When you’re done making this list, you’ll see there are plenty of things you are really good at. And, some of the weaknesses may be things you can absolutely change over time and with some effort.

    Forget About Perfection

    Perfection doesn’t exist. Now you may think all of those Hollywood A-listers that are on the cover of magazines are the epitome of perfection, but even they are air-brushed, photoshopped and have a team of people following them around so their hair is never out of place.

    Stop spending your energy trying to have the perfect face, body, bank account, career, children or relationships. None of that exists. Focus your energy on achieving attainable goals like obtaining your degree and enjoying hobbies.

    Get to Know Your Authentic Self

    We spend so much of our lives comparing ourselves to others that we don’t really take the time to get to know ourselves. Beyond strengths and weaknesses, who are you as a person? What makes you happy or excites you? What hobbies do you enjoy? What kind of brother or sister are you?

    The more you know about yourself, the more chances that you’ll find things out you really like.

    If you would like to speak to someone about your self-esteem issues, please be in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

    Filed Under: Adolescents/Teens, Depression, Self-Esteem

    How to Boost Your Self-Esteem

    March 4, 2020

    What does it mean to have a healthy self-esteem? Some people think it means you are okay with how you look. Other people think you must accomplish something big in your life to have a good self-esteem. But the reality is, having a healthy self-esteem means you like and appreciate yourself faults and all. A […]

    Read More

    How to Boost Your Self-Esteem

    March 4, 2020

    What does it mean to have a healthy self-esteem?

    Some people think it means you are okay with how you look. Other people think you must accomplish something big in your life to have a good self-esteem.

    But the reality is, having a healthy self-esteem means you like and appreciate yourself faults and all. A good self-esteem can be the difference between being a happy, resilient individual, able to face life’s challenges head on, and someone who suffers from depression and anxiety and is often overwhelmed with life.

    If you have struggled in the past with self-esteem issues, there are some things you can do to give it a much-needed boost:

    Face the REAL Reality

    Are you someone that generalizes your lack of self-esteem? By that I mean, do you make generalities about yourself such as, “I’m an idiot,” “I’m not pretty enough or smart enough?” The truth is, we all act like idiots from time-to-time, and most human beings on this planet can find someone who is smarter and more attractive than they are.

    If you’re going to work on your self-esteem, you need to first recognize that you often lie to yourself with these generalities. It may be a very convincing lie from your point of view, but it’s still a lie.

    To become familiar with reality, make a list of 10 of your strengths and 10 weaknesses. If you have a hard time coming up with your strengths, think about what others have said about you: you’re a good listener, you are thoughtful, you cook a mean burger.

    When you’re done making this list, you’ll see there are plenty of things you are really good at. And, some of the weaknesses may be things you can absolutely change over time and with some effort.

    Forget About Perfection

    Perfection doesn’t exist. Now you may think all of those Hollywood A-listers that are on the cover of magazines are the epitome of perfection, but even they are air-brushed, photoshopped and have a team of people following them around so their hair is never out of place.

    Stop spending your energy trying to have the perfect face, body, bank account, career, children or relationships. None of that exists. Focus your energy on achieving attainable goals like obtaining your degree and enjoying hobbies.

    Get to Know Your Authentic Self

    We spend so much of our lives comparing ourselves to others that we don’t really take the time to get to know ourselves. Beyond strengths and weaknesses, who are you as a person? What makes you happy or excites you? What hobbies do you enjoy? What kind of brother or sister are you?

    The more you know about yourself, the more chances that you’ll find things out you really like.

    If you would like to speak to someone about your self-esteem issues, please be in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

    Filed Under: Adolescents/Teens, Depression, Self-Esteem

    Do You Know the Signs of Someone Who is Suicidal?

    January 7, 2020

    According to the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention, over 47,000 people died by suicide in the United States in 2017. In the same year, there were an estimated 1,400,000 suicide attempts. Knowing the signs of suicide is the primary step in preventing someone you know and love from successfully taking their own life. The Warning […]

    Read More

    Do You Know the Signs of Someone Who is Suicidal?

    January 7, 2020

    According to the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention, over 47,000 people died by suicide in the United States in 2017. In the same year, there were an estimated 1,400,000 suicide attempts.

    Knowing the signs of suicide is the primary step in preventing someone you know and love from successfully taking their own life.

    The Warning Signs of Suicide

    Hopelessness

    Many individuals who are contemplating ending their own life experience and express feelings of hopelessness.

    Other Strong Emotions

    Suicidal people may also experience and express excessive anger and rage and talk about seeking some kind of revenge.

    Risky Behavior

    People who are thinking about ending their own life start showing signs of risky behavior. Since their lives are not valuable in their own eyes, they may engage in certain behaviors, not caring about the consequences. This can be drinking and driving, experimenting with hard drug use, and spending time in unsafe parts of town.

    Isolation

    Have you noticed your loved one withdrawing from friends and family and isolating themselves more?

    Trouble Sleeping

    Suicidal individuals often experience great anxiety that causes them to suffer from insomnia. Has your loved one been complaining of not sleeping? Are they taking medication for sleep issues?

    The above are warning signs that your loved one may be experiencing a deep depression that needs attention.

    The following are three signs that your loved one needs some help IMMEDIATELY:

    They’ve Come Right Out and Said It

    Your loved one has actually verbalized a desire to harm themselves or kill themselves.

    You’ve Discovered A Plan

    You have somehow come to know that your loved one is actively planning their suicide by stocking pills or getting their hands on a weapon.

    They Have Become Obsessed with Death

    Many suicidal people, especially teenagers, begin talking or writing more and more about death or suicide in a positive light.

    How You Can Help

    Talking to someone you love about suicide can feel uncomfortable. You may be worried that by merely talking about it, you will somehow inspire the act. This just isn’t so.

    Speaking with a loved one who is suicidal allows them to discuss openly their feelings and desire to end their life. Just opening up to someone who is supportive and non-judgmental can assist them in recognizing their need to get some help from a trained therapist.

    For immediate help, please call the toll-free National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), which is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. All calls are confidential.

    Filed Under: Depression, General, Grief, Issues for Women, Self-Esteem, Teens/Children

    Do You Know the Signs of Someone Who is Suicidal?

    January 7, 2020

    According to the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention, over 47,000 people died by suicide in the United States in 2017. In the same year, there were an estimated 1,400,000 suicide attempts. Knowing the signs of suicide is the primary step in preventing someone you know and love from successfully taking their own life. The Warning […]

    Read More

    Do You Know the Signs of Someone Who is Suicidal?

    January 7, 2020

    According to the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention, over 47,000 people died by suicide in the United States in 2017. In the same year, there were an estimated 1,400,000 suicide attempts.

    Knowing the signs of suicide is the primary step in preventing someone you know and love from successfully taking their own life.

    The Warning Signs of Suicide

    Hopelessness

    Many individuals who are contemplating ending their own life experience and express feelings of hopelessness.

    Other Strong Emotions

    Suicidal people may also experience and express excessive anger and rage and talk about seeking some kind of revenge.

    Risky Behavior

    People who are thinking about ending their own life start showing signs of risky behavior. Since their lives are not valuable in their own eyes, they may engage in certain behaviors, not caring about the consequences. This can be drinking and driving, experimenting with hard drug use, and spending time in unsafe parts of town.

    Isolation

    Have you noticed your loved one withdrawing from friends and family and isolating themselves more?

    Trouble Sleeping

    Suicidal individuals often experience great anxiety that causes them to suffer from insomnia. Has your loved one been complaining of not sleeping? Are they taking medication for sleep issues?

    The above are warning signs that your loved one may be experiencing a deep depression that needs attention.

    The following are three signs that your loved one needs some help IMMEDIATELY:

    They’ve Come Right Out and Said It

    Your loved one has actually verbalized a desire to harm themselves or kill themselves.

    You’ve Discovered A Plan

    You have somehow come to know that your loved one is actively planning their suicide by stocking pills or getting their hands on a weapon.

    They Have Become Obsessed with Death

    Many suicidal people, especially teenagers, begin talking or writing more and more about death or suicide in a positive light.

    How You Can Help

    Talking to someone you love about suicide can feel uncomfortable. You may be worried that by merely talking about it, you will somehow inspire the act. This just isn’t so.

    Speaking with a loved one who is suicidal allows them to discuss openly their feelings and desire to end their life. Just opening up to someone who is supportive and non-judgmental can assist them in recognizing their need to get some help from a trained therapist.

    For immediate help, please call the toll-free National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), which is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. All calls are confidential.

    Filed Under: Depression, General, Grief, Issues for Women, Self-Esteem, Teens/Children

    Do You Know the Signs of Someone Who is Suicidal?

    January 7, 2020

    According to the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention, over 47,000 people died by suicide in the United States in 2017. In the same year, there were an estimated 1,400,000 suicide attempts. Knowing the signs of suicide is the primary step in preventing someone you know and love from successfully taking their own life. The Warning […]

    Read More

    Do You Know the Signs of Someone Who is Suicidal?

    January 7, 2020

    According to the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention, over 47,000 people died by suicide in the United States in 2017. In the same year, there were an estimated 1,400,000 suicide attempts.

    Knowing the signs of suicide is the primary step in preventing someone you know and love from successfully taking their own life.

    The Warning Signs of Suicide

    Hopelessness

    Many individuals who are contemplating ending their own life experience and express feelings of hopelessness.

    Other Strong Emotions

    Suicidal people may also experience and express excessive anger and rage and talk about seeking some kind of revenge.

    Risky Behavior

    People who are thinking about ending their own life start showing signs of risky behavior. Since their lives are not valuable in their own eyes, they may engage in certain behaviors, not caring about the consequences. This can be drinking and driving, experimenting with hard drug use, and spending time in unsafe parts of town.

    Isolation

    Have you noticed your loved one withdrawing from friends and family and isolating themselves more?

    Trouble Sleeping

    Suicidal individuals often experience great anxiety that causes them to suffer from insomnia. Has your loved one been complaining of not sleeping? Are they taking medication for sleep issues?

    The above are warning signs that your loved one may be experiencing a deep depression that needs attention.

    The following are three signs that your loved one needs some help IMMEDIATELY:

    They’ve Come Right Out and Said It

    Your loved one has actually verbalized a desire to harm themselves or kill themselves.

    You’ve Discovered A Plan

    You have somehow come to know that your loved one is actively planning their suicide by stocking pills or getting their hands on a weapon.

    They Have Become Obsessed with Death

    Many suicidal people, especially teenagers, begin talking or writing more and more about death or suicide in a positive light.

    How You Can Help

    Talking to someone you love about suicide can feel uncomfortable. You may be worried that by merely talking about it, you will somehow inspire the act. This just isn’t so.

    Speaking with a loved one who is suicidal allows them to discuss openly their feelings and desire to end their life. Just opening up to someone who is supportive and non-judgmental can assist them in recognizing their need to get some help from a trained therapist.

    For immediate help, please call the toll-free National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), which is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. All calls are confidential.

    Filed Under: Depression, General, Grief, Issues for Women, Self-Esteem, Teens/Children

    Do You Know the Signs of Someone Who is Suicidal?

    January 7, 2020

    According to the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention, over 47,000 people died by suicide in the United States in 2017. In the same year, there were an estimated 1,400,000 suicide attempts. Knowing the signs of suicide is the primary step in preventing someone you know and love from successfully taking their own life. The Warning […]

    Read More

    Do You Know the Signs of Someone Who is Suicidal?

    January 7, 2020

    According to the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention, over 47,000 people died by suicide in the United States in 2017. In the same year, there were an estimated 1,400,000 suicide attempts.

    Knowing the signs of suicide is the primary step in preventing someone you know and love from successfully taking their own life.

    The Warning Signs of Suicide

    Hopelessness

    Many individuals who are contemplating ending their own life experience and express feelings of hopelessness.

    Other Strong Emotions

    Suicidal people may also experience and express excessive anger and rage and talk about seeking some kind of revenge.

    Risky Behavior

    People who are thinking about ending their own life start showing signs of risky behavior. Since their lives are not valuable in their own eyes, they may engage in certain behaviors, not caring about the consequences. This can be drinking and driving, experimenting with hard drug use, and spending time in unsafe parts of town.

    Isolation

    Have you noticed your loved one withdrawing from friends and family and isolating themselves more?

    Trouble Sleeping

    Suicidal individuals often experience great anxiety that causes them to suffer from insomnia. Has your loved one been complaining of not sleeping? Are they taking medication for sleep issues?

    The above are warning signs that your loved one may be experiencing a deep depression that needs attention.

    The following are three signs that your loved one needs some help IMMEDIATELY:

    They’ve Come Right Out and Said It

    Your loved one has actually verbalized a desire to harm themselves or kill themselves.

    You’ve Discovered A Plan

    You have somehow come to know that your loved one is actively planning their suicide by stocking pills or getting their hands on a weapon.

    They Have Become Obsessed with Death

    Many suicidal people, especially teenagers, begin talking or writing more and more about death or suicide in a positive light.

    How You Can Help

    Talking to someone you love about suicide can feel uncomfortable. You may be worried that by merely talking about it, you will somehow inspire the act. This just isn’t so.

    Speaking with a loved one who is suicidal allows them to discuss openly their feelings and desire to end their life. Just opening up to someone who is supportive and non-judgmental can assist them in recognizing their need to get some help from a trained therapist.

    For immediate help, please call the toll-free National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), which is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. All calls are confidential.

    Filed Under: Depression, General, Grief, Issues for Women, Self-Esteem, Teens/Children



    22996 El Toro Road, Suite 107 Lake Forest, CA 92630

    (949) 235-5104 chris@drchriscounseling.com

    Contact Today

    Christine Lillja, Psy.D. Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
    chris@drchriscounseling.com | (949) 235-5104

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